Things men want women to know
Here are some of the things men want their women to know but don’t want to tell them because they will probably take it the wrong way.
- Men are not mind readers.
- Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
- Sunday means sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
- Shopping is not a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
- “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
- If you won’t dress like the Victoria ’s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
- If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.
- You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know better how to do it, just do it yourself.
- Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
- ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
- If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.
- If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine . . . Really!
- Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as fishing, fast cars, or golf.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
- Don’t cut your hair . . . ever.
Add a comment if you know of any more things we need to add to the list.
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