Humor

Airport Security

I thought airport security was over the top when I couldn’t get into an airport because I was carrying a windproof lighter as “It could be used as a weapon” but this is just plain downright ridiculous.
Brad Jayakody, from Bayswater, central London, was stopped from boarding because his Transformers T-shirt depicted a robot with a [...]

Try not to look at this for too long

Technorati Tags: nausea , physiology
I have tried quite a few times to get my eyes accustomed to this but still end up feeling rather nauseous after even a few seconds of looking at it. Perhaps some budding physiologist can enlighten us as to why this should be.

What’s wrong with this picture?

Technorati Tags: Advertising , politacally correct , public safety
If you look closely at the picture below you will see that it is an advertisement for a funeral parlor. Quite a clever location but I am surprised that in the oh so very politically correct world of let’s save people from themselves nobody [...]

HSE driver training

Technorati Tags: funny picture , driver training , HSE
There are many of us who drive vehicles that are fitted out with all sorts of monitors to ensure that we don’t accelerate or decelerate too hard. Many of the vehicles are fitted out with roll cages and so on to ensure our safety [...]

Will it break $100.00 this year?

Technorati Tags: oil prices , Turkey , Kurdish separatists
The title is referring to the price of oil. At $90.00 per barrel as this is being written it would be foolish to bet against it. With the turmoil in the Middle East being added to by the Turkish government’s decision to pursue Kurdish [...]

Wife problems

Technorati Tags: wives , funny , relationships
Working in seismic we all know the sorts of problems that can arise in a marriage. Long stints away from home leaving them to take care of all the little crises that come up in a household can put a strain on relationships. Generally they realize [...]

Thirty reasons women have things easier than men

1. They got off the Titanic first.
2. They get to flirt with systems support men who always return their calls, and are nice to them when they blow up their computers.
3. Their boyfriend’s clothes make them look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in theirs.

4. They can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. [...]

English language problems

Technorati Tags: Language , English
I once spent a couple of weeks helping out at an English language school and the students would often ask why things are the way that they are in English. Here are some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English.

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The [...]

Fur flies over Miss Universe

Technorati Tags: PETA , animal rights , Miss Universe
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and some of the other raving loony animal rights types are campaigning to get the reigning Miss Universe, Japan’s Riyo Mori, to stop wearing animal furs by accusing her of promoting cruelty.
Ms Mori, 20, a ballerina [...]

Christian Taliban

An article on the ABC news site shows just how far backward the clocks are being turned in the name of “decency”. The country that is promoting democracy and freedom in the middle east should take a look in their own back yard first.
It seems that numerous parishes in the state of Louisiana are busy [...]

Best 10 Answering Machine Messages

10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and [...]

Absolutely SFW | Reg Developer

Just a quick one on the subject of safety. Click on the link below to go to The Register and have a look at their article on workplace safety. I have included a choice quote below. Does this sound like any of the HSE people you have come across? Go over there and read the [...]

Only in America

Where else would you see something like this?

Some Where In Libya 2005

Things I owe my mother

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into [...]

Stranded on an island

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There’s plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he is doing alright. But after few months he gets "lonely", if you know what I mean. The pig starts to look more and more attractive — [...]

Doodlebugger prayer

Here is one for the religious among us. Don’t laugh, plenty of people on seismic crews believe in god. It’s just that when they flee temptation they leave a forwarding address.

Male & Female definitions

buttfemale – the body part that every item of clothing ever manufactured makes “look bigger”male – what you slap when someone scores a touchdown, home run, or goal. Also good for mooning
commitmentfemale – a desire to get married and raise a familymale – not trying to pick up other women while out with [...]

Reality check

I had seen this as a poster some years ago on a seismic boat before I noticed it the other day on a web site. The girl might or might not have been different but the message was the same. It does give us something to think about.

Keep this in mind when you are drooling over [...]

Things men want women to know

Here are some of the things men want their women to know but don’t want to tell them because they will probably take it the wrong way.

Men are not mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You [...]

Could this be seismic heaven?

I don?t know about our readers but this looks like Larry?s version of seismic heaven. His only complaint would be “So many beers, so little time”. As you all know Larry is the entertainment manager at Swinger?s Bar & Grill currently trading on the Sinai Peninsula. We don?t get very many drop-in customers here [...]

Sign of the times

Seen when calling on local landowners while permitting for a seismic survey. Time to check the kevlar underwear.

Female vocabulary

Male and female communication is often hampered by a lack of understanding. For the confused men out there here is a primer to women’s vocabulary.
Fine – This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a [...]